FINALLY ... I'M BACK!

More than a decade has come and gone since my last posts, and the old saying, "time flies," has definitely played out!

My family has grown up and grown bigger.  And there have been so many events and milestones through the years ... weddings, births, deaths, health issues, travels, missions, home renos, working on our little farm and with our different animals.  

After over 43 years of having "kids" at home (at one time, or another) and after 17 years of fostering ... my husband and I are finally living the "honeymoon" life!  lol. All of my kids are on their own - and we are getting regular respite on weekends.  So we have time ALONE!!! 

And I find myself in a time of reflection and, at the same time, anticipation for all that is ahead of me.

Above all ... I want this less busy season to be a time where I press in to the things of God.  I want to dive into the Word and just pray to know Jesus more intimately.  That is my number one pursuit and desire.

I don't know what the next few years will bring.  I don't know if we'll stay where we are, or move and downsize.  But I do know that those plans are just geography.  What is important in life is relationship!  So THAT will be my focus.  Relationship with Jesus.  Relationship with my husband.  Relationship with my family and my friends.  And relationship with whomever God brings into my life - for His purposes.

My upcoming posts will be filled with my thoughts and with things that God shows me.  Hopefully it will inspire people and make them think.  

And, so I move on from today and say ... 

"Take my life, Lord.  I am Yours."

 

real joy

what is it, at the core of who we are, that drives us?
what really motivates all that we do?  say?  work for?
is it a 'pursuit of happiness' that we live for? 

sometimes we feel happy … and other times we don't.
and sometimes, when we look and seem happy, we really aren't.
happiness is such a superficial emotion.
it is so dependent on things that are uncertain in life.
instead of pursuing happiness - live in contentment.
contentment brings a real, deep, lasting joy.

real joy has no place for worry.  worrying about the future robs us from the riches of 'today.'  
i am prone to worry, and i am good at it.
worrying about my family ...
worrying about my relationships …
worrying about world conditions ...
worrying about my health …
worrying about superficial things ...
worry steals my joy.  
my escape can be found in only one place … God's word.
meditating on His love and goodness and resting my assurance of who He is chases every worry away.  my contentment is rooted in my pursuit of knowing God.  
it all begins and ends there.

real joy does not agonize over the past.  one of my favourite quotes is from Bonnie Mohr:

it is a true saying that we cannot change the past, only learn from it.
'today' is what we are given, and today is what we should live in.

real joy has no room for procrastination.  live in 'today.'
forgive today.
laugh today.
love today.
help today.
pray today.
do the right thing today.

real joy is found in being compassionate and understanding.  it is knowing that i cannot 'fix' people.  it is not my job.  it's God's job.  it's only my job to love and pray for them.  only God knows their heart - only He knows the path they've walked on.  
trusting in His love for them must be enough for me.

real joy is found in wisdom.  wisdom helps me to set good priorities in my life.  
time is the one thing that cannot be regained.  using my time wisely does not very often mean that i have scheduled every minute for 'productivity.'  there is wisdom in being still.  there is wisdom in resting.  
turn off the t.v.
get off the internet.
silence the cell.
de-clutter life.

make wise choices - today, and then the next day, and then the next …
one day at a time.

coming alive

a new chapter has begun.
it's fall.  it's fall around me and it's fall in my life.

my fall will be a productive fall ...  not productive with activity, but productive in relationship.  i read a devotional online this morning, and these words impacted me in a huge way:

"His desire is to have a relationship with us - an ongoing, long-term relationship that bears lasting fruit."

i've known that all along.  it's the greatest commandment that Jesus spoke of:

"'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbour as yourself.'  All the law and the prophets hang on these two commandments."

when we purposefully do the first - the second naturally follows.  my heart actually aches when i realize how so much busyness and activity have taken priority in my life in years gone by - so that the most important thing has often been made secondary.  it's a sneaky thing, really.  it's only when the season of activity subsides that you can take inventory of what's left.  

a relationship with Jesus is a marriage.  how often do marriages fall apart, ending in divorce after the children have grown up and left the home?  throughout all the years of that relationship, the priorities of husband and wife faded and took second place.  the busyness of raising kids and just life in general took over - making money, paying bills, running here and there.  time and purpose weren't spent growing that marriage.  slowly, over many years, the relationship drifted apart and became anemic.  the thing is … it just became 'the way life is' and wasn't really noticed much.  it's just how the marriage evolved.  it wasn't realized until all that activity and busyness ended and, stripped bare, what was left?

i am so thankful that, even though this season leaves a huge hole in my life, i have a marriage that is strong and loving.  it's exciting really.  i feel like we are moving into a 'honeymoon stage' that we didn't have at the beginning because, from the time we met, we had a family.  now it's just us.  and that is going to be good.  

most importantly, in my life, i want to nurture and impassion a closer relationship with Jesus.  i have more time than ever now.  it would be so easy to fill it up with activity.  i mean, i'm in a season where i can afford to do what i want to do and go where i want to go.  i love being occupied in the planning of new things.  that surely is my tendency.  

but i will not choose that.

as hard as it is to 'be still' … that i will be!

"Come, Lord Jesus.  I want to know You more than ever before." 

and in that 'knowing' this fall season will be full of a harvest of good fruit.

Breathe . . .

I spent the day in the hospital two days ago - taking one double-ventilin treatment after another to get my breathing under control.  It wasn't a critical event, but it made me think about how desperately I needed oxygen.  Air.  I struggled with only shallow breaths.  I needed the air to fill me deep in my lungs.

Take a deep, deep breath.  Can you feel the life that it is bringing to your body?  It's feeding every part of you.  A deep breath calms you, refreshes you and helps you to focus.

I am longing for Jesus in the same way I longed for that deep breath of air.  Fill me Lord.

He said to me,

"Prophesy to the breath.  Prophesy, son of man.

Tell the breath,

'God, the Master, says, Come from the four winds.

Come, breath.  Breathe on these slain bodies.  Breathe life!"

[Ezekiel 37:9]

hope is my word of the day . . .

"Therefore, having been justified by faith, we [I] have peace with God 

through our [my] Lord Jesus Christ, 

through whom also we [I] have access by faith into this grace in which we [I] stand, 

and rejoice in HOPE of the glory of God.

And not only that …

but we [I] also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 

and perseverance, character; and character, HOPE.

Now HOPE does not disappoint, 

because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts [my heart] 

by the Holy Spirit who was given to us [me].

Romans 5:1-5

The Word of God pierces even in the most unexpected and hard situation imaginable.  In times like this, I purpose to focus on God's mercy, compassion and faithfulness.  

My HOPE begins with a change in my focal point.  I serve the "God of hope."  

"Now may the God of HOPE fill you [me] 

with all joy and peace in believing, 

that you [I] may abound in HOPE by the power of the Holy Spirit."

[Romans 15:13]

My God is almighty and the author of wisdom -- He is Lord over all time and eternity.  He is my Healer and my Protector.  Nothing is impossible with Him, and IN HIM I place my trust wholeheartedly.  My faith is in the person and character of God and not in what I see around me.  

And so … HOPE rushes in.

hope

"But this I call to mind,

and therefore I have HOPE:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;

His mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning;

great is Your faithfulness.

'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul,

therefore I will HOPE in Him.'

The Lord is good to those who wait for Him,

to the soul who seeks Him.

It is good that one should wait quietly

for the salvation of the Lord."

morning . . .

"Cause me to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning,
for in You do I trust;

cause me to know the way in which I should walk,
for I lift up my soul to You."

[Psalm 143:8]

Get the Remote … and Press PAUSE!

What amazing technology we have today!  If you want to grab a snack while watching a show, just press pause – and whatever you’re watching just stops and waits for you to be ready!

It wasn’t that long ago that my kids were my “remote.” 

“Can you please change it to channel 13?”

“Can you please lower the volume?”

Now, nothing needs to be missed!  Just press pause . . .

Wouldn’t it be awesome if there were a pause button for life?

I can just imagine all of the bad, impulsive and stupid decisions that could have been avoided – if only I’d had a pause button!

I could have pressed ‘pause’

         before I went there . . .

         before I bought this . . .

         before I did that . . .

         before I said it . . .

Today I read in the book of Luke, chapter 14 (verses 25-30) about counting the cost.  It says that I should “count the cost before building.”  Jesus was talking about counting the cost of discipleship, of following Him. 

         BECOMING a Christian is free. 

         BEING a Christian has a cost.

Jesus said to count the cost before building.

So how do I build in my life?

         I began to build when I said, “I do.”

         I continue to build in the lives of my children.

         I want to build in all of the relationships I have with people.

         I really want to build in God’s church and outside of God’s church.

And I thank God that HE is my source of strength and wisdom to do all that.  When I am so often weak, He is strong.  When I have no answers, He always does.  He never disappoints me.

Jesus also said to count the cost of battles.

So what battles do I have?

         I have the battle of daily choosing right over wrong.

         I have the battle of fighting temptation in all sorts of things.

         I have the battle of choosing to love above all else.

And again, I can thank God that He is my Overcomer!  He goes before me in all battles and conquers when I choose to do it His way.

Lord, I pray that I will learn to press “pause”

         at every crossroad in my life

         with every decision I have to make

         with every temptation that I face

         with every motive and attitude that I battle         

I give You an invitation to come to guide me and to remind me of Your ways.

Click!   Pause …

Revived . . .

“Lord Jesus – I hear You telling me that all You have destined my life to be, all that You once whispered to my heart, all that You’ve spoken to me from the pages of Your Word – even though I’ve lost it through sleep and carelessness and action – it’s all still mine.   The only thing that You require of me is to get up and start heading back to rebuild the testimony of Your glory in my life.  

And my response is, “Yes, Lord.  Lead me from this captivity.  You led a procession of people to rebuild Your temple in Jerusalem in Ezra’s time and You made it greater than the former temple.  And Jesus came to it.  

Jesus, turn my captivity.  Whatever I have embraced and settled for … I put away.  I want to be a temple where Your presence will dwell.  I believe that You will make my future testimony greater than anything of my past.  I believe that every gift of the Holy Spirit, every promise in Your Word, everything that You’ve ever promised to do in my life will come to pass.  From bankruptcy, I come Lord.  You are speaking to my heart and You are faithful.  Your love and mercies to me are never-ending.  Thank you, Lord.  I know that all You do in my life has nothing to do with me.  All I can do is stand in my own poverty and give myself wholly to You to be made rich in the imperishable things that only You can give.  Peace.  Joy.  Love.  

From this day forward – for better or  worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health – I give  myself completely to You.  May Your name be glorified in my life forevermore.” 

signs . . .

yesterday i was sitting by the pool at the clubhouse reading my Bible.
the Lord was really speaking to my heart through the Word.  i felt like i was like drinking
a big glass of water that was quenching a desperate thirst that i'd had for so long!  
as i was reading and praying, i suddenly heard a noise above my head and looked up
to see a small airplane writing the name "Jesus" in the sky above me!

oh how i love the amazing ways that God shows me that He is near.  i guess He knew
that my measly faith needed a boost … a sign from Him!

thank you Jesus!

exposure . . .

my life is one of continual growth through seasons of exposure

. . . of perpetual movement from darkness to light.

seasons full of ups and downs . . .

seasons of doubt and seasons of faith . . .

seasons of despair and seasons of joy . . .

seasons when i feel close to the will of God

and seasons when i can't find His will.

2014 … 

and i've decided to start blogging again.

i'm in florida for the entire month of february and have

a lot of time on my hands to seek the Lord and re-focus on the important things in life.

Jesus is awakening my heart again.

my biggest desire is only to know Him.

to know Him intimately . . . 

to recognize and be sensitive to His voice . . .

to have the love and compassion that only He can give me . . .

to be a good and faithful servant . . .

these things are what i seek.

christian 'doing' is a bankrupt pastime at most.

i don't want to fill my days with empty endeavours.

all my schemes and plans pale apart from really knowing Jesus.

"Lord, draw me into Your presence.

give me a thirst to spend long hours alone with You.

give me hears to hear your voice.

and faith to do Your will."

Jesus wants all of me more than He wants my 'service.'

to know Jesus  is the purpose of my heart.

may every single thing in my heart and life to be

exposed in the Holy Spirit's refining fire.

"change me, Lord.

purify my motives.

re-arrange my priorities.

fill me with Your unconditional love.

i give myself wholly to You."

i thirst, Lord . . .

it is God who puts this hunger & thirst in me.
i hunger for something substantial ... 
     i do not want my ears tickled 
     i do not want to be at ease in zion
     i long for a living Word in the house of God
     i long to hear the whole counsel of God
alone in that secret place
i am satisfied ...
there, the Spirit of the Lord convicts me 
there, God continues to create in a clean heart in me
but my heart is hurting ... and longing for the ancient paths
longing for more.                        
WHERE DO WE GO TO EAT?
by David Wilkerson
[May 19, 1931 - April 27, 2011]
The seventh chapter of Micah contains one of the most powerful messages on the
new covenant ever preached. In this incredible sermon, Micah is speaking to
natural Israel—yet he is also speaking to the church of Jesus Christ in these
last days. He begins his sermon with a heartbroken cry—one that is still being
heard from spiritually starved believers around the world today: “Woe is me! .
. . There is no cluster to eat” (Micah 7:1).
Micah is describing the effect of a famine in Israel—a famine of food and of
God’s Word. It echoes the words of an earlier prophecy by Amos where the Lord
says: “Behold, the days are coming . . . that I will send a famine on the
land, not a famine of bread, nor a thirst for water, but of hearing the words
of the Lord. They shall . . . run to and fro, seeking the word of the Lord, but
shall not find it” (Amos 8:11–12).
It was harvest time in Israel and the vineyards should have been bursting with
fruit, but there were no clusters hanging from the vines. Micah watched as
people went into the vineyards looking for fruit to pick and finding none. In
his prophetic eye, Micah saw multitudes in the last days running from place to
place, seeking to hear a true word from God. He envisioned believers scurrying
from church to church, from revival to revival, from nation to nation—all
seeking to satisfy a hunger and thirst for something to nourish their souls.
The cry is still heard, “Woe is me—there is no cluster!”
There is a great famine in the land. Yet, in spite of multitudes running about
looking for spiritual food, those who truly desire God’s Word comprise only a
remnant (see Micah 7:14, 18). This is certainly as true today as it was in
ancient Israel. Few Christians today truly hunger to hear the pure word of the
Lord. Instead, the majority fatten themselves on Sodom’s apples, feeding on
the straw of perverted gospels.
"come Lord Jesus ...
revive me ...

please ... revive Your church."

raised from the dead . . .

it's no secret that i love daisies.
and i especially love this banner . . .
look at it carefully.  what's unusual about it?
reading the picture from left to right (as we do in this part of the world)
it's backwards
inverted
paradoxical.
it starts with a wilted, almost dead daisy . . .
progresses to one that is recovering . . .
and finally
becomes a perfect daisy in full, healthy bloom.
it was a dead daisy that came to life.
i think that it must be a christian daisy.
it is a picture of our christian walk.
we must die before we live.
only when we are dead to ourselves . . .
only when we have come to the end of ourselves . . .
our ideals
our plans
our self-worth
our lusts
our worldliness
our self-dependence
(the list could go on and on . . .)
only when we wake up and realize the dead state we've allowed ourselves to slump into
do we see our need for revival.
only then are we ready to be raised from the dead.
then we become Potter's dust
and He gives us beauty for ashes.

draw me . . .

draw me, oh, draw me, please draw me, my Jesus.

into your presence, where i cannot lie.

my soul is so thirsty, i cannot endure it.

and if i can't get closer, i surely will die.

take me, oh take me, please take me, my Jesus.

quickly, before i forget that I'm lost.

for so many times, my mind has deceived me,

that i really don't have to carry the cross.

i just need to know how to pray.

my wicked desires block the way,

sometimes i have grieved you away,

i don't want to do that today.

help me, oh help me, please help me my Jesus.

save me from sins that i thought were all gone.

kill me with kindness, and break through my blindness.

i know till i'm dead, i can never live on.

(Keith Green)

open up . . .

"Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: 

if any man hears my voice, and opens the door,

I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me."

Revelation 3:20

open up . . .
don't lock Him out.

it's simple . . .

and what are those commandments?
love God . . .
love people . . .

when planning becomes sin . . .

"for I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,

“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

[jeremiah 29:11]

how often have i quoted this scripture?

how often have i encouraged others with its message?

but, o how often i have watered down this Word in my own life.

who am i allowing to plan my life anyway?

me . . . with all of my datebooks and daytimers?

or . . . Jesus?"
"now listen, you who say, “today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.”  why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. what is your life? you are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.  instead, you ought to say, “if it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”  as it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. all such boasting is evil.  if anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them."
[james 4:13-17]

it's time for this die-hard scheduler to die!

"many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails."

[proverbs 19:21]

"commit to the Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans."

[proverbs 16:3]

so be it, Lord Jesus.

may Your plans and purposes for my life prevail.

i give all of my yesterdays, todays and tomorrows to You.

i love the way God speaks so personally ... and in such a timely way ...

a timely message for me today.                power over fear                by david wilkerson whenever I am afraid, i will trust in You.  [psalm 56:3] i am afraid. fearfulness and trembling are come upon me; terrors of death are fallen upon me. afraid because there is more evil in me than good, lying rather than righteousness, weakness instead of strength. i am like an unripe olive tree without fruit. oh, that I had wings like a dove, i would fly away and be at rest. i would hasten my escape from the windy storm and tempest. afraid God may cast me off and curse this green tree, for He came seeking fruit and found none. afraid so I can but trust in Him. i will call and He will save me. He shall hear my voice and deliver my soul in peace from the battle that is against me. He will bottle my tears. God is for me. He will keep my feet from falling, that I my walk before Him in the light of the living. o, what a limited understanding we have of  God's ways. how our love pales in comparison to His. if this great man of God felt this way there is hope for me. God is for me. He will keep my feet from falling, that i may walk before Him  in the light of the living.

"religion . . . "

religion.
what a word.
there is so much wrapped around that one little word.
thoughts of "religion" are not usually passive - at least in my world; they are passionate.
if you look up synonyms of the word "passion" you will get these two together (to name a few) . . .
delight.
rage.
the passion evoked by this one little word can be a delight - or it can be rage.

“Religion that God our Father accepts 
as pure and faultless is this: 

to look after orphans and widows in their distress 

and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”

[james 1:27]

God is not impressed by our rituals and ceremonies and services.  His church is not confined by a building, or practiced in a program.  He is not concerned with the 'outside of the cup.'
What He wants is for us to live and act with kindness and love to everyone - every day - without expecting something in return.  
Conditional love will not do.  We must love Jesus with all of our hearts and love others as He loves us.

answered prayer . . .

i'm so thankful that the Lord of my life is someone who hears

and answers my prayer.

i willingly and purposefully place my trust in Him.